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d4sh Faction Leader, Antares Captain
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Joined: 11 May 2005 Posts: 3882 Location: The Antares
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 3:19 pm Post subject: Random |
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Right, I come across too much stuff these days... And I'm so bloody bored I keep sharing it as well, so here's a whole thread dedicated to my (and/or your) boredom!
No link to start of with, but something a friend sent me:
"I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"
I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her." _________________
"d4sh is half robot, half Dutch and half ninja." - M0RGAN | "Dashy is hardcore, he danced in the flames." - Gookin
Last edited by d4sh on Thu Nov 16, 2006 3:31 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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lorellei Ananova Captain
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Joined: 28 Dec 2005 Posts: 651 Location: Creston Heights ((Preston... or Chester))
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 3:24 pm Post subject: |
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just shows how much the genders differ _________________
"To live is to dream and to die is to awaken"
(\_/)
(O.o)
(> <)o |
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Devaude Antares First Mate
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Joined: 30 Aug 2005 Posts: 1349
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 3:25 pm Post subject: |
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Awesomeness
I know someday i will give my gf this answer ... someday ... yeah
EDIT: Random link:
http://www.linerider.com/ _________________
'Like... Dude... What the hell...' - d4sh |
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PoloSleor Singularity First Mate
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Joined: 08 Aug 2005 Posts: 362 Location: Brussels, Belgium
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 3:56 pm Post subject: |
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Oh my.. That's just plain evil.
An evil masterplan, though.
But painful.. And oh so evil.. _________________
What is Singularity?
P.O.L.O.S.L.E.O.R.
Positronic Operational Lifeform Optimized for Sabotage, Logical Exploration and Online Repair
"Dragonram: TO LEMONE!" |
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Dragonram Antares Crewmember
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Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 1019 Location: Leicester, England UK
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 4:02 pm Post subject: |
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I lol'd I love that story
- Ð _________________
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Procurator Chief Archivist, Aggregator Captain
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Joined: 21 May 2005 Posts: 3815 Location: HvCFT Aggregator, Syntax
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 4:37 pm Post subject: |
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Ah-hahahahahahahahahahahah! Take that flogic. ![Wink](images/smiles/icon_wink.gif) _________________
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Gookin Aggregator First Mate
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Joined: 21 Oct 2005 Posts: 1889 Location: United Kingdom
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 6:05 pm Post subject: |
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*tries it out on girlfriend; loses an arm*
Bad move! _________________
You always say just what everyone else is thinking don't you? - Pixelmad |
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SixTwoFive Aggregator Medical Officer
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Joined: 08 Mar 2006 Posts: 115 Location: Sweden
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Gookin Aggregator First Mate
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Joined: 21 Oct 2005 Posts: 1889 Location: United Kingdom
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 6:11 pm Post subject: |
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lmao _________________
You always say just what everyone else is thinking don't you? - Pixelmad |
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SixTwoFive Aggregator Medical Officer
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Joined: 08 Mar 2006 Posts: 115 Location: Sweden
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Campusanis Aggregator Communications Engineer
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Joined: 26 Apr 2005 Posts: 486 Location: Marburg, Germany
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 8:23 pm Post subject: |
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Oh dear... xD
Don't try this at home, kids. _________________ The English are better than the Americans at being American doctors.
Faster than ever, better than ever, it's MetaJambaling! |
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WiredNight Singularity Mainframe Engineer
Joined: 11 Sep 2006 Posts: 151 Location: Sasebo, Japan
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 10:45 pm Post subject: |
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You know I actually have done something like this. I would not suggest doing this to any woman, because I hate to admit it, but while the man may be smarter, all women are capable of some of the most devious, evil, down right mean spirited things you have ever come across.
Women make Dick Cheney look like Ghandi when you do something like this to them. And women never forget. EVER!
Two men can beat the crap out of each other, then buy each other a beer and all is forgiven. You can't do that with a woman. Women buy into the Wiccan rule of three. Whatever you do to them, they WILL do to you back three fold.
John Wayne's movie "The Quiet Man" captures this perfectly. |
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Rariof
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Joined: 17 Sep 2006 Posts: 78 Location: Lamar, MegaCity
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 11:40 pm Post subject: |
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hahahahahahahaha..... ![Laughing](images/smiles/icon_lol.gif) _________________
"Age is foolish and forgetful, when it underestimates youth." Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince |
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d4sh Faction Leader, Antares Captain
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Joined: 11 May 2005 Posts: 3882 Location: The Antares
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 11:47 pm Post subject: |
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WiredNight wrote: | You can't do that with a woman. Women buy into the Wiccan rule of three. Whatever you do to them, they WILL do to you back three fold. |
That also goes for sex. _________________
"d4sh is half robot, half Dutch and half ninja." - M0RGAN | "Dashy is hardcore, he danced in the flames." - Gookin |
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M0RGAN Antares Pilot
Joined: 04 May 2006 Posts: 222 Location: Texas
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Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 1:50 am Post subject: |
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d4sh in a four-way? ![Wink](images/smiles/icon_wink.gif) _________________ Aloha means goodbye! |
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