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d4sh
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Joined: 11 May 2005
Posts: 3876
Location: The Antares

PostPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 3:19 pm    Post subject: Random Reply with quote

Right, I come across too much stuff these days... And I'm so bloody bored I keep sharing it as well, so here's a whole thread dedicated to my (and/or your) boredom!

No link to start of with, but something a friend sent me:


"I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her."
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"d4sh is half robot, half Dutch and half ninja." - M0RGAN | "Dashy is hardcore, he danced in the flames." - Gookin


Last edited by d4sh on Thu Nov 16, 2006 3:31 pm; edited 2 times in total
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lorellei
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Joined: 28 Dec 2005
Posts: 650
Location: Creston Heights ((Preston... or Chester))

PostPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 3:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shocked
just shows how much the genders differ
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Devaude
Antares First Mate



Joined: 30 Aug 2005
Posts: 1349

PostPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 3:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Awesomeness Very Happy

I know someday i will give my gf this answer ... someday ... yeah Cool

EDIT: Random link:

http://www.linerider.com/
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'Like... Dude... What the hell...' - d4sh
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PoloSleor
Singularity First Mate



Joined: 08 Aug 2005
Posts: 362
Location: Brussels, Belgium

PostPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 3:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shocked Oh my.. That's just plain evil.
An evil masterplan, though.
But painful.. And oh so evil..
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Dragonram
Antares Crewmember



Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 1019
Location: Leicester, England UK

PostPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 4:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I lol'd I love that story Very Happy

-
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Procurator
Chief Archivist,
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Joined: 21 May 2005
Posts: 3815
Location: HvCFT Aggregator, Syntax

PostPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 4:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah-hahahahahahahahahahahah! Take that flogic. Wink
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Gookin
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Joined: 21 Oct 2005
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Location: United Kingdom

PostPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 6:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*tries it out on girlfriend; loses an arm*
Bad move!
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SixTwoFive
Aggregator Medical Officer



Joined: 08 Mar 2006
Posts: 115
Location: Sweden

PostPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 6:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://prikola.net/content/pic/selection/73/25.jpg
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Gookin
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Joined: 21 Oct 2005
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 6:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

lmao
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SixTwoFive
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Joined: 08 Mar 2006
Posts: 115
Location: Sweden

PostPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 6:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://www.rinkworks.com/said/insurance.shtml
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Campusanis
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Joined: 26 Apr 2005
Posts: 486
Location: Marburg, Germany

PostPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 8:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh dear... xD
Don't try this at home, kids.
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WiredNight
Singularity Mainframe Engineer



Joined: 11 Sep 2006
Posts: 151
Location: Sasebo, Japan

PostPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 10:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You know I actually have done something like this. I would not suggest doing this to any woman, because I hate to admit it, but while the man may be smarter, all women are capable of some of the most devious, evil, down right mean spirited things you have ever come across.

Women make Dick Cheney look like Ghandi when you do something like this to them. And women never forget. EVER!

Two men can beat the crap out of each other, then buy each other a beer and all is forgiven. You can't do that with a woman. Women buy into the Wiccan rule of three. Whatever you do to them, they WILL do to you back three fold.

John Wayne's movie "The Quiet Man" captures this perfectly.
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Rariof




Joined: 17 Sep 2006
Posts: 78
Location: Lamar, MegaCity

PostPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 11:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hahahahahahahaha..... Laughing Laughing
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d4sh
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Joined: 11 May 2005
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 11:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

WiredNight wrote:
You can't do that with a woman. Women buy into the Wiccan rule of three. Whatever you do to them, they WILL do to you back three fold.


That also goes for sex.
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"d4sh is half robot, half Dutch and half ninja." - M0RGAN | "Dashy is hardcore, he danced in the flames." - Gookin
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M0RGAN
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Joined: 04 May 2006
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Location: Texas

PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 1:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

d4sh in a four-way? Wink
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